My Heart is Sinking

I am angry and sad at the same time, but there is nothing I can do about it.

I have always wanted a third child. Well, I have always wanted four, but after Baby Girl was born it took me a while to decide to have another, I guess I needed to have the pain of the experience fade. Three and a half years later I gave birth to The Sequel. As soon as The Sequel was born I knew I wanted another child, yes, it sounds weird, but I just had a feeling.

I have been thinking about a third child these days. Part of me just loves having two but, to me, two just does not seem right (I guess it also has to do with my sister and I being only us two, I just did not like that, we were so competitive). Anyway, to make a long story short, I decided that I was going to look into adopting. This is where my heart breaking into a million pieces comes in, in my search I visited The Texas Foster Care and Adoption website, there you can search for kids, read their bio and see their pictures.

I am angry at the amount of kids waiting to be placed, I am angry at the mother of these children for not taking care of themselves while pregnant - some of the kids are born addicted to drugs and alcohol, they have Shaken Child Syndrome (that causes a plethora of side effects), or have diseases that could have easily been prevented if the mom would of cared! Some of these kids can not see, can not control their movements, and can not walk.

I am sad at the fact that these kids have to deal with the stupid decisions of their parents. I am sad that these kids can go online and see their picture, read their “problems” and that every day that their picture is up is another day that someone does not want them. I am sad at the fact that because of some of the physical issues some of these kids have, they will most likely never be adopted and they will have to bounce from foster house to foster house until they reach 18 and become a ward of the state and live forever in a state institution.

I feel so helpless. I wish I had a huge house, I wish I could adopt them all, give them a better life, a chance at happiness. I wish I could erase their minds of all the bad stuff that has happened in their short lives and let them all know that someone cares. I am so, so very sad right now.

American Idol - Series Finale

Yes, I have decided to post about AI. I have been mad about the show and promised not to write about it ever again, but I am making an exception given last night’s show.

I thought the show teetered between entertaining and flat out weird. I thought it was nice that they had so many actual, established, singers there. I was very surprised to see Prince. Does a 16 year-old know who Prince is? Anyway, here is my own version of the American Idol Golden Awards, the winners are…

“Don’t Make Me Look Stupid Again Award” goes to – Kellie. Kellie did not get a singing solo, but do they have to embarrass her by having a weird moment with Wolfgang Puck?? The whole 2 minutes were very odd and I kept thinking, Kellie just eat it, just eat it!! But she did not eat the snail. They actually showed her getting it out of her mouth (on a napkin) and placing it on the floor. I thought that they could have done something more interesting with her and Mr. Puck other than making her look like a fool…again.

“Weird Couple Award” goes to - Katherine and Meatloaf. Ok, what was up with the Katherine/Meatloaf duet? WEIRD. He looked like an uncaged bull. And what was up with the red handkerchief? I did not think that they made a good pair. “If I touch you like this or if I touch you like that…” oooh, gross.

“WTF Award” goes to – Clay Aiken. When I first saw him come out I thought it was Barry Manilow or Wayne Newton. I only realized that it was Clay when weirdo guy, the guy that won the Clay Aiken impersonation award, started freaking out. Very, very odd. I am going to vote two-thumbs way down on that makeover. With that look he is headed to become one of those eccentric - plastic surgery, fake tan, hair plugs, lounge singer, Wayne Newton wanna be.

Before - as we knew him


Now

May Birthday Celebration

We had a lot of fun on Friday Night. Here are a few pics of the event. Thanks to everyone that made it out. More pics on Flickr.










Thanks to Chris - internetcurios for the awesome and yummy cake.

Getting Older and Wiser

My birthday was last week and because of one reason or another I did not feel nor had time to blog about it. Turning 35, yes the half of 70!, was not as thought provoking as I thought it would be - the sky did not open up, rays of light did not shine on me, and I did not have an epiphany about my life – I just turned a year older. Yippie for me.

I remember the eve of my 21st birthday, that night I wrote myself a letter (a tradition that continues to this day when something major has happened) about how I felt and what was happening in my life. I read it now and laugh, not a mean laugh, I just a laugh at how at twenty-one one tends to sweat the small stuff, and I was perspiring a lot. The letter is, random thoughts, a collection of words that as I read them they remind me of the anxiety I felt that day – you know, that I am about to throw up feeling. I was so afraid of the unknown.

Today, I am no longer afraid. I have learned to say whatever happens, happens. I know for a fact that when a door closes a window does open up somewhere. Opportunity does knock. I have learned that you and you alone make your own fate, your own path in this world. Do not get me wrong, I still sweat, but now I do not let it affect me.

I have had a wonderful 35 years. I might not have gray-free hair, perky breasts, a stretch mark free body, or metabolism from hell, but dang it at thirty-five I know how to look and feel fabulous!

I now know who I am and I am no longer afraid. Look out world 35 is my year!!

For all of those that would like to celebrate with me, we will be having a May Birthday celebration on Friday, May 19th, at The Flying Saucer (Main/Capitol) starting at 6:30pm. If you have a May birthday and would like to be included on the birthday list please email me and let me know. So far we have six May birthdays. See you all there.

New York - Wickedly Awesome

We really had a nice time in New York. It was a little laid back given that we had two kids in tow, but nice anyway. We left Houston on Wednesday (I was lucky that Continental ignored the fact that my bag was a couple of pounds over the 50 pound limit). That night we checked in at the 70 Park Avenue Hotel and headed out to walk around and get some dinner. We ended up finding a fabulous Cuban restaurant. It is just so nice not to be surrounded by chains and franchises.

On Thursday, the kids and I took it easy, JR was working, so we just hung out at the hotel and when the light went down the kids and I headed to Times Square. We went to Toys R Us and took a ride on the ferris wheel, we got to ride on the Little People School Bus.





The last time we were in NY Baby Girl was 4 months old. She was so funny, every morning she would get up and run to the window. She wanted to see if people were still outside walking. She just did not understand why they did not drive everywhere. I thought it was cute.

On Friday, we went out to lunch and I stayed in the hotel while the kids and JR visited The Morgan Library and Museum. That night we headed over to see Wicked!!!! I was so excited I saw the show in Houston, and loved it, and to see it in Broadway, well, it was a dream come true. We had second row tickets, it was amazing to be that close. The New York show had around five things that were different from the Houston show. I did not know why, but on Saturday when we went to the Wicked – Behind The Emerald Curtain tour I found out why.

The tour was an incredible experience. The actor that plays Dr. Dillamond, Sean McCourt, was the tour guide and here I am with him…





Anyway, the reason that the show was a little different, and by that I do not mean acting or movement, I mean actual line changes, is because they try out different things on tour and then take the changes back to Broadway. I love the theatre and have seen performances several times, so I think it is neat that Wicked makes changes and keeps evolving, making it fresh. I also found out that “Dancing Through Life” is a new number that was not in the original performance!





The tour was great and highly recommended. After the tour we headed to Central Park. We visited the carousel and the Central Park Zoo. We walked the Upper East Side and caught a cab back to the room. We took a nap and headed back out to visit The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Loved it.









The next morning we got up and headed to the Staten Island Ferry. Why Staten Island, well, the ferry is FREE and you get to take some awesome pics of New York City and the Statue of Liberty.





After that is was time to go home. Whew, I am still tired.

New York Bound

We are headed to New York today. I so hate packing. I always tell myself that I am only going for a few days, but when I finish packing it looks like I am moving there. I wish I could just put everything in a backpack and go. Do I really need to take four pairs of shoes?!

Anyway, while in NY we plan to see Wicked, again, walk through Central Park, and go to the museums. It should be fun. I will have some pics soon.

Much Love.

Back Yard Project - Day 5 It's Party Time

Yippie for us!! We actually finished a project on time, if we could only translate that to other aspect of our lives we would be awesome.

Back Yard Project - Day 4 Finishing Touches and Decorating

Back Yard Project - Day 3 Sand and Pavers

Back Yard Project - Day 2 Compressor

The compressor day went something like this…

JR – “Hey we need a compressor”
Chica – “Ok”
We go to the rental place and pick one up. The thing weighs a million pounds. JR is having a hard time controlling the thing and all the Paver Base is coming up.
Chica – “I don’t thing you are doing it right. I don’t think you are supposed to be going backwards with it”
JR – “Here, you do it”
Chica – “What?! I thought you had used one of these before, I mean you knew the name of the machine!!!”
JR pulls one of the empty Paver Base bags and reads me the instructions.
JR – “This is where I got the name from”
Chica – “F*%K, ok, we are going to have to research this one”