Monday, July 21, 2008

My Adventures in Plastic Surgery

If you guys ever want your self esteem to go way down go see a plastic surgeon. Why would anyone want that? I dunno, but this doctor completely ripped my rose color glasses off my face and proceeded to beat me up while I was desperately looking for them.

I have been loosing weight lately, but after having three kids your body just does not look like it is supposed to. I am thinking of having the surgery next summer and thought that it would be a good idea to go and see several doctors and have all my questions answered.

Anyway, back to my story. There is absolutely no way to look cute in that room. Fluorescent lighting does not do anyone any good! Secondly, you are given a paper robe and tiny mesh underwear that is many sizes too big. The doctor comes in and quickly removes the robe. Why the robe is there, I don’t know, maybe to let you keep a small piece of dignity. The doctor pretty much has his way with you, he puts his hands all over your body and NOT those feel good places either! He squashes your boobies for you to see what they will look like after surgery. He then makes you lie down and with all his might pull every fatty, pump or is it the lumps? down to show you what changes you can expect after he is done with you.

At some point I asked the doctor what the chances were of me being able to get an implant rather than getting a breast lift and he replies “with the massive sagging…” All I could say was “I don’t think I will EVER be able to be naked in front of anyone again”. He replies “No, do not worry, we see naked people all the time”. “No, I don’t mean that, I just don’t think I could ever show my saggy titties to anyone again!”

If that was not all, his female assistant is standing right there taking notes and looking at you! The stomping on the self esteem does not end there, once the consult is over the assistant takes pictures of you in the most embarrassing poses ever. She takes the befores and those pics are all I will forever see while trying to strike a sexy pose in bed.

No dinner, no cash, I had never felt so used before. All I could do was gather what little dignity I had left, put my clothes on, and walk out of that room with my head held high.

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