Letter to Britney Spears

Hello Britney,

Being a mom is hard work and I think that being in front of the public eye would make the job a lot harder. I have two kids and let me tell you that I am so glad I am not famous because I don't think that I could handled being criticized openly about my ability to be a mother, I can hardly stand it when someone I know makes a comment. Plus, I would end up in the cover of every tabloid given all the oops I have had with my children.

So, how are you doing? I saw you last night being interviewed by Matt Lauer, you know what I noticed? You are starting to look a lot like Courtney Love, all you need to complete the look is a slur and some needle marks on your arm. I don't know who your publicist is but they need to be fired. There is no way that you did a prime time interview with Matt looking like that. You looked like you were going to a summer BBQ. What was up with the gum? You are about to be a mother of two, you need to dress appropriately. Your skirt was too short and your boobs were just hanging out. Yes, I know you are pregnant, but there is no need to be dressing like that. There is a fine line between trendy and trashy and you my sister are right on that line.

Hey, I also heard that you are going to Namibia to have the baby. What is up with that? Are there no other African countries? Following in the steps of other celebrities does not make you cool.

My advice to you is, ditch your publicist and get yourself a classier look. Once you have the baby and have lost the baby weight you can go for more trendy/show off styles. Also, open a book once in while; why not go back to school? Yes, I know you love "funny people because they are hilarious and awesome", but do not say that out loud.

Anyway, try to enjoy yourself, you are young and rich, take a vacation get away for a while, and stay away from Africa. Also, I know other people have told you this, but just in case, remember to use birth control. The last thing you want is to have twenty kids by what’s-his-name. He is another topic all together.

Just my two cents,
Chica