It is Hard Being a Woman

It is so very hard being a woman in today’s world. Ok, maybe I should change that to say, I am finding it hard to be a good woman nowadays.

My life feels very chaotic right now, I feel like I am drowning, but at the same time I am not yelling asking for help. I am drowning in silence. Why am I doing this to myself? Truthfully, I really feel like I would be letting myself down if I would quit my job, let go of my business, and just concentrated on the kids and the home. Would I be a better mom if I did that? probably yes. Would I be happy? probably not.

My mother stayed at home until we moved to the States. I guess it was comforting to get home from school and have someone always waiting for you, to open the door and have the smell of food welcome you in. I really liked that and missed it when I was older. I wish that I could have been able to write her a letter of recommendation after my father left. After we moved to the States we did not have the luxury of having her stay at home, she had to join the workforce with no skills what so ever. Life was hard, but that is another story all together.

Statistics say that if a woman leaves the workforce and stays out for 18 months she has 50% change of getting the same job with the same pay. The percentage decreases the longer she is out of the workforce. Do not get me wrong, I do not want to leave my job, I really like it. I do not work because of the money, I do not make that much, I do it because it makes me feel that I am doing something important for people that respect me and like the way I do my job.

The problem is that I have been so very busy with work that I have not had time to pay attention to anything else. Every thing is just falling to the wayside, but most of all I feel that I am not loving enough. Wow, it sounds weird saying it out loud. I AM NOT LOVING ENOUGH!! I feel like I am living in the tomorrow, tomorrow I will spend time with the kids, tomorrow I will clean, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I am afraid that tomorrow might never come and I wasted my time on things that are not, gulp, that important.

As women trying to balance kids, husbands, careers, businesses, homes, and some personal time, how do you guys do it all? Is there a happy balance or does one side always wins? How does one become a Superwoman?